As we forgive those?

I was at Sunday mass recently and I had problems with the Lord’s Prayer again. This is becoming a pattern. But this time it wasn’t about holding hands, they don't even do that any more. This time it was the forgiveness issue. I just don’t think I do, that’s all. Forgive, that is. I know that experts say that if you don’t forgive someone you are only hurting yourself, because the person who hurt you has probably already moved on and may not even remember. I know that makes sense. But I am just not able to forgive, at least not yet.

 

Someone who hurts you accidentally or someone who hurts you once in a moment of weakness, maybe that can be forgiven. But someone who calculates how and when to hurt you, someone who hurts you over and over again, someone who puts the fear of death or the fear of God in you so that you won’t tell, someone who haunts you in your nightmares long after they are dead and buried, or someone who is still part of your family, how can you, how can I, forgive that person?

  

Jesus, I know you were hurt by your enemies and your friends. I know that you forgave these people and prayed for them. So, you’ve got to help me out here. I just don’t see my way through this.

  

Mona, you were betrayed by those who were meant to care for you. You were hurt by someone who ministered in my name. I do not expect you to react the way I did; I was an adult when I suffered, you were a child. What is most important right now in your life is that you forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for being depressed. Forgive yourself for not being the perfect parent you wanted to be. In other words, you have to practice loving yourself the way you try to love your sons. We’ll work on the forgiveness of others later. There’s plenty of time for that.